Painful Sex-Inability to have Penetrative Sex/use Intimate Toys

Losing your virginity is often a topic that concerns and scares young women a lot, causing anxiety and even an overwhelming fear of any attempt at physical intimacy leading to painful sex. A whole range of myths and inaccuracies about your first time can be the cause of this.

A good knowledge and understanding of your anatomy and bodily functions, as well as some self-practice before the “big day” are essential in order for you to lose your virginity painlessly and pleasurably. With Vagi-Wave the science is behind the product so that you can easily and effortlessly practice penetration so you gain confidence and control regarding such intimate activities.

The misconceptions of the hymen

Most people believe the hymen is a piece of flesh that will necessarily break, cause pain and bleed the first time a girl has intercourse. This is a myth. The hymen is a membrane that covers part of the vagina’s entrance. However, it has a hole in it, from where menstrual blood flows to the outside. An adolescent girl’s hymen is either likely to have broken through the practice of sports or insertion of a tampon. Even if not broken, the hymen’s hole will have stretched enough by the time a girl is about to initiate intimacy, resulting in only very mild pain and little bleeding (or none at all) when the male genitalia is inserted. Some women are born with broken hymens so don’t get overly hung up on hymens.

Painful Sex – So why does it hurt a little?

The truth is that the possible breaking of the hymen will play a very subtle role in terms of painful sex felt during your first time. In most cases, it is the muscles inside of your genitals that may cause discomfort and painful sex. The myth that your first night is always painful can cause these muscles to subconsciously tighten and spasm, causing penetration to be difficult or impossible and/or more painful than necessary. It is often the nervousness and misconception of first-time penetration that causes it. But don’t worry because there are ways to overcome it naturally and easily such as with Vagi-Wave.

More importantly, you must be sure you are ready to take this step, remember that the initiation of a sexual relationship with your partner will change things in your life. Also, make sure that you (and even your partner) are not under pressure to take this step. If you decide you don’t want to, you have the right to simply say ‘no’ and be respected for it. As and when, remember to use a condom even if you have another form of birth control. You can get an STD even if it is your very first time. If you don’t use birth control at all, you can get pregnant! Don’t let something like that ruin your experience or your future.

Here are some tips

Accept that you may at first dislike the feeling of first time penetration, especially if you focus on a phallic object. You might feel some discomfort as if you’re on your period or removing a tampon, but remember this is perfectly natural. More often with time, this type of sensation will disappear and eventually become pleasurable.

Explore your own anatomy. When alone and calm in your room, remove your clothing, get a small mirror and sit/lie on your bed, legs spread. You might like to trim your pubic hair in order to get a better view of your genitals, but this is not required. Do what you feel comfortable with, remember it is your body and you have the right to say what happens and state your own terms.

When you feel ready to have intercourse with your partner for the first time, remember to be calm, use a lot of lubricant (such as our Moose-Joose) and start penetrative sex only when really aroused. Always use a water based lubricant, not Vaseline, oil, moisturizer, or any kind of greasy substance. These can damage latex based condoms and cause irritation and pain.

It is often the case that any pain you may feel is more psychological rather than physical. The more frightened you are, the more tense or nervous you will be. Fear has a direct effect on the muscles of your body and will cause resistance and some of the painful sex you might experience. When you feel comfortable and confident to move towards penetration you will feel much more at ease. Not all girls feel pain the first few times they have intercourse, this is natural too. You might get the urge to go to the toilet (be it number one or number two) during sex. It’s normal. This feeling will go away after a couple of times of having sex.

Painful Sex Cycle of Pain

Finally, and this is very important, if you feel like tonight is not yet “the night”, don’t carry on, simply postpone it. A caring partner will value how you feel above anything else and will not try to rush you into something you are not ready for. If you change your mind, it is okay to say so and just say ‘no’ !

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