As you and your partner go through different stages of your life, so your love-making will change. At times it will be wonderful. At times it might just be okay.And sometimes, it may even be difficult. What’s important is that you always talk and listen to one another and do as much as possible to keep your sexual relationship working. You both need to be patient and understanding. After all, there is a tiny little person in your life now. A man sometimes needs to be reminded that a mother of a new-born baby is often sore after giving birth and her body needs to recover. She may also be tired from nights of being up with the baby and from breastfeeding. What’s more. a man needs to be told or reassured that mother’s natural motherly feelings for the baby does not mean he is loved any less.
Remember that some men who were present at the birth of their child found it very distressing. “Some of them feel so guilty at the pain their partner has gone through that they are unable to even consider the idea of making love with her again. This is usually just a passing phase, but not always,” says Dr David Delvin at netdoctor.com.uk. (Fathers who feel like this should seek help from a counselor to discuss his feelings, he says.)
Will childbirth change your sex life?
Definitely, don’t expect that everything will instantly return to normal. Having a baby pass through the vagina means the delicate vaginal tissues are inevitably strained, bruised and maybe torn – and it takes some weeks for things heal up. Don’t overlook you will be subjected to considerable hormone changes and emotional stress. Very few women feel sexy until a long time after they have given birth, so if you are not interested, don’t get hung up on it. Couples can engage in other forms of affection while they wait for the woman to heal. And that, too, can bring its own fun, and help the couple maintain a sexual closeness.
Is sex going to be the same?
As previously mentioned, love-making will change as we go through various stages of our lives. However, that does not mean that it can’t be fun or even more rewarding than before childbirth. Just remember the vagina of a woman who had a natural childbirth will not go back to its original shape.
Hormone changes and worry can lead to some women experiencing vaginal dryness for the first three months after giving birth, so having a good water based lubricant (such as Moose-Joose) can help in this matter.
Apart from that, it is usually nothing more than ‘a waiting time’ before intimate feelings/needs return to you. When they do, you may be worried about having anything, including your partner enter your vagina because you feel different. Providing your midwife/gynaecologist has checked any stitches or informed you that you cannot have intercourse, the best way to begin intimate activity is to put the act of intercourse in a ‘try before you buy’ box. What does that mean ? Simply put, use the Vagi-Wave to experiment, so you can get used to the process of penetration and having something inside your vagina once again.You can follow the 21 night vagina training programme or use the Vagi-Wave as part of intimate activity, swapping the Vagi-Wave for the ‘real thing’ when you are ready.
Here are some ideas to help you as and when you decide to resume making love:
- Lock the door.
- Ask a friend to baby sit & arrange a special time for yourselves as a couple.
- Make love somewhere else other than in the family home.
- Make sure your children are fast asleep.
- Use a water based lubricant and take your time
- Remember you can always say ‘no, not tonight’ and try again another time.
How to get the benefit of the Vagi-Wave
- Use your Vagi-Wave to re-familiarise yourself with the sensations associated with approach , point of penetration and then the sensation of resting/penetration within the vagina itself. You can do this on your own or part of love making with your partner.
- Simply follow the 21 night vaginal training programme either before or after trying the above suggestion.
Which ever one of the above you choose to do first, you will soon realise that the Vagi-Wave will effortlessly help put you back in control of all things intimate.